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The Pain of Paying

Another thing what I wrote is on Gizmodo.co.uk today.

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Um, now, Donald...

With frustration growing at the apparent lack to progress towards the hover boards they were promised in the 1989 movie Back to the Future II, Americans took to the polls to elected Donald Trump as the 45th President of the Unit States of America, declaring “We want something from that movie to be real, and if it ain’t power laces and hoverboards, we’ll take Biff Tannen’s Hill Valley.”
Voter and Chicago resident Tom Murrey said “The American people are tired of waiting! Our time is now. We ain’t got no hoverboards, my jacket won’t dry itself and I can’t hydrate a pizza in 10 seconds! We’ve had enough!”
“The Cubs won the World Series and that felt great!”
When confronted with the fact that everything he referred to was in the original timeline of the movie and it was, in fact, a split in the spacetime continuum due to Marty McFly’s irresponsible behaviour that led to the alternate reality of the Hill Valley hellscape, Mr Murrey responded “Don’t come at me with all your facts and detai…

My daughter knows me so well.

Last week, I was out with my daughter and some friends and my daughter decided to draw everyone's picture and give it to them as a present.
Most of them were really, really good. 
This was mine:

I can't decide whether this is how she sees me and she thinks I should confess that I have messed a lot of things up, or whether she simply messed the drawing up.

No-one

No-one making any noise. 
No-one wanting to know if they can have more cereal.
No-one asking if they can play with the neighbour boy who has ADHD and wants to marry them.
No-one exuding a cacophony of cries and spluttering after hitting their hand on a bedside table.
No-one walking beside me who can't rid themselves of the hiccups.
No-one asking "Daddeee..." (drawn out for full emphasis and to gain maximum attention), "...if the moon fell to earth, but landed on a spring factory, would it bounce away further than when it started?", a question to which "Daddeee" simply doesn't have a reply through both astonishment and stupidity.
No-one alleviating my pangs of guilt after standing on a snail by telling me "It doesn't matter. That was Larry the Snail and he didn't really do anything anyway".
No-one being grumpy because 9.00 pm is too early for bed and they aren't tired and it's still daytime in American anyway, despite bein…